The fragile balance of the heart and soul
by Talhiri
Summary: Revan's leaving for the Unknown regions has left Bastila in an unstable state. "What's happening to her" Carth exclaimed as the woman covulsed and arched in pain in his arms. "I don't know, Carth, but we gotta get out of here, Mission sounded scared."
1. Prologue

**-- Prologue --**

* * *

They're not coming back. 

That had been the rumour running around the bridge and the entire ship for the last three days, since Revan, his droids, and the hulking Mandalorian Canderous had disappeared on a recon mission.

Carth Onasi stared out of the window, on the _Sorrowful's _bridge deck as he thought back to that day, that fateful day he had listened to his friend's advice for what had seemed like the last time, at least until Revan came back from the recon mission.

* * *

"_Carth, the way up ahead is blocked, how many men do you have to get through this area?" Revan waved his friend over to look at the corridor leading down into the tunnels of the resisting Sith cache here on Anirdo. Carth and Canderous walked over to Revan's side and looked down into the long shaft that sloped sharply downwards at a treacherous angle._

"_Huh, Onasi's weapons and toy soldiers, ain't going to last a minute down there." Canderous spat into the hole and grinned at Revan, "that means we're going ahead right?"_

"_You take that back Canderous," Carth threatened the big Mandalorian, his face angry and red, a blaster pistol appearing from nowhere into Carth's hand and Canderous' face as Canderous snorted back at Carth, unimpressed by Carth's sudden reaction._

_Revan ignored his two friends as he thought about the shaft. Canderous had been right about the bigger patrols going down into the depths and the lack of properly trained soldiers at Carth's …or rather, his disposal… Carth may have been the one legally in charge of this mission – but it was really Revan who was the mastermind of it._

"_I'd like to see you try it, Republic." Canderous racked his gun and leaned in to whisper at Carth, "a battle between one squad of untrained mandalorians would wipe your Republic troops into pieces."_

"_Enough! You two are worse than a six – year – old!" Revan snapped at his friends without turning to look at Carth and Canderous as he studied the entrance again. "We need to send a resonances mission ahead of the patrols – Carth." _

_Carth nodded in agreement, "who do you want to go, Revan?"_

_Revan smiled recklessly, "just me, Canderous, and the droids… we don't want too many people and if I have troubles hacking into any systems, T3 will be able to help me with them, while HK and Canderous can provide cover for us."_

_Revan returned a few days later and headed to the Ebon Hawk, after filling Carth in on the details. He and Canderous along with the droids had gone out into space to open up the hanger bay that had been secreted there when the trouble had started.  
_

"_All right, we're in and it's not too bad…" Revan's voice crackled form the intercom as he guided the Ebon Hawk into the secret route, he had found by accident. _

"…_Darkness! Where did that come from! No... It's from the old…" Revan's voice broke up as the static broke through his transmission. _

"_Revan repeat that, will you?" Carth toggled the comlink and shot a despairing glance at the ensign tending the station, "try boosting it again, kid."_

"_Get… hell out of … Carth! It's an … – … ships left over … the Star …ge! … take care of them and just get … … out! We're gonna blow these…"_

* * *

"Sir…? Excuse me, Admiral Onasi…?"

Carth turned to glare at the foolish person who had interrupted him and saw a young woman looking at him. She was vaguely familiar as he stared at her in annoyance.

"Well?"  
She was silent and pale, merely staring at him until he could take it no more.

"…Report soldier!" He snapped when she stared at him for sometime, before his voice startled her into action.

"I was sent to bring you these." She handed him five datapads, each bearing news from Admiral Dodonna, the gang back at home, and three tactical updates. Carth inspected them briefly, before he looked at the silent woman again.

"Is there anything else?" He asked in a cold voice when she nodded her head quietly.

"Has… has there been any report, of the Jedi Master Revan?" The woman stumbled over the words, as though they were foreign to her.

"No, there hasn't been," Carth replied a bit more tartly than he'd planned to say. "Why do you ask?"

"Because, Jedi Master Bindo told me that if I came to you, that you'd help me find my brother… I never had the chance to meet my brother after the war… Rev saved me, but he didn't know who I was then… I was just another person hurt by the Mandalorians."

Kay Tridian looked up at Carth Onasi and the tears in her eyes were painful for him to see.

"He's not coming back, Kay..."

Carth hated himself more than ever at that moment. "I'm sorry…"

It was all he could offer to the grieving girl as he led her gently away to his private quarters. He needed to find out more about this woman who claimed Revan was her brother… Maybe she had some clue, some answer to Revan's whereabouts… Who knew?

_

* * *

_

Ten hours later, Carth sat staring at Kay Tridian who claimed to be Revan's sister. Her face was not relaxed in her sleep and tear marks still marred her face as she tossed and turned in her sleep, muttering words in a unkonwn language to him.

_"I hope you're onto something here, Jolee…"_

Carth thought as he stared at the sleeping woman who _did _look like Revan, near close enough to be his twin.

_"I just hope you're right about her…"_

Carth watched as the ship jumped into hyperspace from the comfort of his private quarters and finally allowed the tears of frustration and anger unshed for the past three days to fall as he stared out the window, looking at his reflection in frustration.

* * *


	2. Chapter 1: Carth tells Bastila

**-- Chapter 1: Carth tells Bastila --**

* * *

"What? What do you mean?" 

Her voice snapped all heads in the room, to stare at her as the woman started to works herself into a panic.

"Calm down, Bastila… I know you're scared, but you have to know."

Carth grabbed Bastila by the arms and shook the pale woman.

"Its better coming from me than the Council or the Fleet;" the newly appointed Admiral sighed as his face betrayed his anger and pain. "Revan went on ahead and forced us to go back – he only took HK, T3, and Canderous with him."

"But, he's… he's not MIA…" Bastila whispered, stuttering over her words as Carth realized that the woman was starting to grow faint.

She looked into Carth's brown eyes and shook trembling, as the shock and denial set in. "Please, you should know, he's not dead…"

"He's not! He's not! HE'S NOT! HE'S NOT! HE'S NOT! HE'S NOT! HE'S NOT! HE'S NOT! HE'S NOT! HE'S NOT! HE'S NOT! HE'S NOT! HE'S NOT! HE'S NOT!"

Bastila struggled in Carth's grip as he cursed with emotion; he had expected Bastila to be upset, but he had underestimated her. She was hysterical now, and it was all that Carth could do to keep her restrained and even that wasn't enough. Bastila's fear and anger, her denial… she drew into the Force and went berserk. The room came alive with anger and power, as crates careened into the air and conduits erupted in exploding power blasts.

"…Sir! What's going on? Are the Sith attacking us?"

A young ensign ran up to Carth and his eyes widen at the slight of the revered Lady Bastila slumped in Carth's arms, seemingly cationic and lifeless.

"Um, Sir, is she alright?"

"She's fine soldier," Carth reassured the ensign as he lifted her up in his arms, "what's your name, kid?"

"Ensign Carlos McCrow, Admiral, Sir! Rank 3…" The Ensign snapped off a salute and came to attention before Carth could even stop the young man.

"Stop that, Carlos! If you keep going on with all of that, you could get shot or something might happen while you're distracted!"

Carth relented at the look on the young man's face and sighed, "look kid… come with me and watch my back – whatever posting you had previous is gone. You're staying with me and Bastila now as a bodyguard."

"But… but, Sir! All my belongings, my superiors…" Carlos stuttered in shock as he stared at Carth in surprise. His face was slack jawed and eyes were as wide as saucers.

"Forget them, kid. And stop acting like one!" Carth groaned at Carlos and his actions. "Why even Mission is much better at this than--!"

"Better at what?"

Carth and Carlos turned around to see a young girl, scratch that – Carth thought as he looked at Mission; she was a young woman, now seventeen. It's been a while since I've thought about our escape from Taris, Carth thought as he stared at Mission unconsciously. She was only fifteen then, turning sixteen the next day after Taris was destroyed and now she's grown up, too fast, much to fast… because of the war…

"Hey, bantha breath! What's with you?"

Mission was in his face now, talking rapidly, not stopping for a breath as she ranted away. "I go away for a week and now, I come back too see you and – wow! The place here is a mess! What have you been up to redecorating in ruined style?"

Mission's eyes were wide as she assessed the damage. She did a full turn about before she turned back to Carth who was still staring at her. She stared for a full complete second before she was able to comprehend that Bastila was unconscious in Carth's arms.

"What happened to her?" Mission was suddenly not so much chirpy as she inspected Bastila with a quick, but critical look.

"She doesn't look like she was hurt or anything…"

Mission trailed off and then she looked down at the ground.

"Revan…" "It's something to do with Revan, isn't it Carth?"

Mission's eyes were bright with tears starting to shine in them as she looked at her friend. Carth knew he couldn't lie to her, she'd know and with Bastila hysterical as she was, she was going to need all the help her family could give her.

"Revan's MIA… Mission, him, T3, HK, and Canderous, they're all missing…"

Carth said bitterly as he motioned with his head for Carlos to follow him as he walked out of the ruined bay with a stunned Mission in tow.

"What do you mean MIA? You mean Revan, T3, HK, and Canderous are MIA?" Mission was confused, as she tried to think straight for a minute."And what's MIA?"

Mission watched as Carth opened the door to his office and laid Bastila down gently on the couch, covering her with a blanket Carlos offered him. Carth took it with a nod, and turned to face Mission who was being unnaturally quiet. Carth couldn't remember a time other than after Taris had been destroyed basically ...well, Malak hadn't blown the planet up, but he might have done that as well. But this was the most silent, that Mission had been, or at least, what Carth could remember.

"MIA is missing in action, Mission," Carth said heavily. _"Why do I have to be the one to tell her this?" _Carth berated himself inside his head with passion as he started to tell Mission what MIA meant.

"It means we think…"

Here Carth paused and let out a heavy sigh, "it means that they're missing and we're not sure if they're dead or not, but we think that they are…"

Mission just stared. She just started at Carth until she suddenly made the connection.

"But that can't be true!"

She leaped at Carth and started pounding on his chest, as the tears rolled down her face.

"You're lying! You're lying, you old geezer." Mission whispered brokenly as Carth grabbed her arms and pulled her into a tight embrace. Carth held her while Mission shuddered and sobbed, not caring if Carlos saw this at all.

"_Let the damn kid think what he wants," Carth thought callously. "I could care less if this got to another superior of his. This is my family now and that's all that matters."_

Carlos saw the girl's intent an instant before she leaped at Carth and would have intercepted her, expect for that moment when Bastila grabbed his arm with incredible strength. Carlos turned to the unconscious woman and tried to soothe her or at the very least, to let go of his arm for she was beginning to hurt him with her grip.

"Revan… why…?" "Why did you leave me?"

Bastila's whispers filled Carlos with his memories of when Revan had recruited him for his skill, not too long ago. Revan had pulled strings and favours from who knew where to get Carlos posted onboard the same ship as Carth Onasi, and the Lady Bastila at the same time… especially when Carth told Bastila that he was MIA. Revan had mentioned that Bastila might react somewhat to his disappearance, but Revan had indeed not thought that Bastila would have reacted this way… That had been the impression, Carlos had gotten from Revan.

But then again, women were always difficult to understand or even to predict. Hell, you say one wrong thing and they'd give you the ice treatment for days on end – Carlos could count the number of times where that had happened to him. But that wasn't going to help the Lady Bastila now. Carlos sighed and turned to face Carth.

"Sir… I think the Lady Bastila needs some help?"

Carth and Mission turned to look at as though they had forgotten he was there. Carlos decided he wasn't far off the mark either. Mission walked over to the desk littered with papers and files on the top of the desk. She pulled out a bottle of some green vile looking liquid and a cloth or two. Turning around to the Admiral, she ordered him to get some food and water while she attended to Bastila.

The Admiral smiled, relief on his visible, as the young woman… Mission started to tend to Bastila. The Admiral turned to Carlos with a stern look on his face and tugged the boy over to the door.

"I need to go and make a few calls, Carlos. You stay and guard the two of them," Carth said and Carlos nodded in agreement. Just before Carth got out of the door, he leaned in close and whispered in Carlos' ear before he left; "and if you don't then there'll be hell to pay, kid."

"Yes, sir… I understand." Carlos started to salute but stop at Carth's grimace as the Admiral left.

"Of course I'll watch them. I've got my orders and nothing will get in my way… Carlos said quietly to himself. _Nothing short expect for a new directive could change my orders… As my Master commands me, I shall obey no matter what..." _

_

* * *

Okay, here's the second chapter - and R&Rs please! It helps to write more stuff for this story!_


	3. Chapter 2: With our fearless leader gone...

**-- Chapter 2: With our fearless leader gone, who shall lead us now? --**

* * *

Mission paced the length of the main hold and kicked at some imaginary thing on the deck. She glared at nothing in particular as Zaalbar watched her pace again. 

"Mission, you should stop and eat something, they will not return any sooner, even if you continue to pace like this." Zaalbar growled and shook his head at the young girl as she turned to face him with an incredulous look on her face, the anger notable on her face.

"Zaalbar, how can you talk like that!Revan, Canderous, T3, and HK could be hurt or in trouble and all we're doing… doing…" Mission sputtered, at a loss for words, trying fuel her anger into what she felt as she stood there shaking with her fists clenched and her lekkus quivering in rage.

"You should have stopped them, you brainless furball! You saw him before he left… last week! You could have stopped Revan – why didn't you?"

Zaalbar rose to his full height at her insulting words and growled menacingly as he called for someone else to come to the main hold.

He did not have to though for Juhani had already sensed what was happening and had come to investigate the potential problem.

The Cather took one look at Mission and sighed silently as she walked over to the young girl and put her arm hesitantly around Mission's shoulders.

Normally Mission would have felt gratified, touched even at the motion Juhani was making on her part, but not today.

She turned to look at Juhani with a mixed expression on her face before she exploded into action.

"Get off me!"

Mission grabbed the hand holding her shoulder as Revan had taught her too and threw Juhani into the bulkhead behind them.

"Don't tell me what to do!" Mission screamed as she leaped at Juhani and started to beat her fists on Juhani, scoring strong hits, strong enough to wind the Jedi guardian.

"Stay away from me! You're all the same! You always throw your lives away for the better good!"

"Mission, what…?" Juhani was barely able to speak before more blows rained down on her.

Mission' eyes were glazing over, hatred shinning in them. "Well, what about us? Don't we lowly non-force users matter to you Jedi anymore?"

"Mission, what are you doing?" Zaalbar pulled the girl away from the gasping Juhani as Jolee and Carlos rushed into the room to investigate the ruckus.

Carlos immediately pulled out his rifle and looked around the room before his eyes centered on Mission.

"What's wrong with Mission?" He asked frowning as he took a good look at the shaking girl.

Mission didn't answer in words, she answered in action, throwing a small flash grenade to the ground. The howl that accompanied the commotion was more than enough noise for Mission to slip away.

She ran silently to Bastila's quarters, currently the cargo hold and grabbed a blaster pistol on her way in from the rack on the way.

"Where is he?" Mission demanded, pressing the blaster against Bastila's forehead, startling the meditating woman out of her meditation state.

"I do not know, Mission, Revan closed himself off to me…" Her eyes flickered wryly at the shaking blaster, "if you wish to kill me, Mission, then go ahead, I would not stop you."

Bastila's voice was steady as where her hard blue eyes; Mission closed her eyes and pressed the trigger.

Nothing happened.

Mission frowned and opened her eyes, to see that Carlos holding the power pack to the blaster in one hand, the other held a control to a neural disruptor collar, now resting on the enraged Bastila's neck.

"What did you do that for!"

Mission and Bastila both shouted at Carlos who glared at the two of them.

"First Mission, you attacked Juhani for no reason and then _tried_ too _kill Bastila_…"

"Second, Bastila you should know better than to encourage Mission right now, and that Revan didn't waste his time to go drag you back from the Jedi Council, so you could be merely killed here among friends instead."

Neither woman had much more of a chance to complain as Jolee stuck them from behind, with heavy and powerful sleeping stims. Jolee threw a dirty look at Carlos, "did you have to stick that collar on her?"

Carlos gathered Bastila up in his arms, "you rather she'd have torn the ship apart?"

Jolee shuddered, thinking about the cold vacuum that was separated by the deck plating between them and death. "No," Jolee admitted, "I would not have enjoyed that…"

Carlos gave the old man a nod, "then it's settled." He brushed past Jolee and paused in the doorway, "does she need any medical treatment right now?"

Jolee sighed tiredly, "If you want to take Bastila to her quarters then go ahead, Carlos…"

"But," and he shook a finger, "if I find that something went on that wasn't suppose to happen then they're be hell to pay."

Carlos snorted firmly, "I have my orders Master Bindo… there is nothing that will or can stop me from protecting the Lady Bastila… nothing. The young man turned and left Jolee holding Mission upright.

Jolee grumbled under his breath, as he carried Mission to the medical bay. "I am going to kill Revan when I find him… making me a Master Jedi and placing me on the Jedi Council and then he decides to go off on us and disappear… young rips these days have no respect for the older smarter generations…"

After laying Mission in the med bay to rest, in his opinion, the extremely comfortable bed, he went back out to check on Juhani and Bastila.

"The kid must be exhausted…" Jolee thought out loud when he passed by Carlos sprawled form across one of the bunks just across Bastila's bunk. He bent down besides, Bastila's side and looked closely at her face.

Tears ran down her face as she turned quietly in her sleep; Jolee leaned in closer to hear her whisper Revan's name and he leaned back, his face a bitter mask of emotions.

He crossed over to Juhani's side and checked on her conditions. She was sleeping, feeling more at home in the women' quarters, rather than the medical bay and that was fine with Jolee. He slept better in a tiny room sometimes, himself anyways.

Jolee left the two sleeping woman alone and ducked his head into the cockpit, to Zaalbar and Carth flying the ship.

He watched for a minute and pulled back out, not willing to intrude on the two friends who were talking quietly, he himself needed sometime to focus his thoughts out.

Jolee went to the men quarters' and sat down on his bunk, cross-legged. He sank into the meditative posture gently as he thought about all that had happened recently, his thoughts drifting back to just before the Star Forge…

Carlos waited all night, until he pulled the nightshift and went to the communications room, and typed in several cryptic codes into the link center.

"Krell here, yes…?"

"It's me, Master…" Carlos spoke up and proceeded to tell his Master of what had happened that day.

"I see…" His Master's voice was dark and withdrawn in thought as he replied to Carlos. "Let her do what she must do, but she cannot find me, Carlos… if that clear?"

Carlos swallowed, after he had seen the Lady Bastila freak out when she had been told that Revan, Canderous, T3-M4 and HK-47 were gone, he was seriously in doubt that nothing short of Revan could stop the woman.

"Carlos… I said is that clear?" His Master was suddenly speaking to him and Carlos realized that he hadn't answered and was delaying his Master…

"I'm sorry, Sir… I was just thinking how hard it was to LadyBastila to find out that…"

"Yes, I did not believe she would take it that hard, but I could imagine what happened…"

"Uncle, what should I do, or what would you have me do?" Carlos licked dry lips, "please, I'm not sure, what I should do to help her…"

"The abrupt departure will undoubtedly cause them all stress, and then you will be able to see how much a misfit crew matched together in a time of great need, a year ago, was… is left behind."

A noise from the cockpit suddenly jarred through the silence following his Master's statement. Carlos ducked his head out of the doorway and heard footsteps coming. He quickly reached the comm. and spoke quickly, "someone's coming, Master… When will I be able to contact you next?"

His Master replied quickly, as though he could sense the urgency from Carlos' voice, "I'll be on Chandrilla in a few hours and Talravin in a couple of weeks for sure… after that I do not know…" He signed off and Carlos dashed into the cockpit just as Carth entered.

"What's happening?" Carth demanded as he slid into the pilot's seat as Carlos checked all of his boards.

"I'm getting nothing here, you?" Carlos turned to look at Carth with a sour look on his face, "that's the second false alarm in the hour. Where did you get this heap of junk?"

"Revan bought it. Said it was the sister-ship of the Ebon Hawk…" Carth's mouth quirked, "I think this was Revan's way of making us stay alert at all times…"

Carlos gapped at his superior, "the _Forgotten_ is the sister ship to the Ebon Hawk?"

Carth chuckled dryly, "yes kid, Revan made it himself, with the help of HK and T3…"

He was about to say more when he stopped speaking, and turned around, his face set in a look of trouble.

Bastila stood in the doorway, her hair all unkempt and her eyes were bloodshot.

"Change our course! We're going to go to Deralia… now!"

* * *

Sorry, I left this so long, I'm working between several stories right now, so I want to get my chapters right - I think I got this down. Anyways R&R please! And many thanks to Bjrn Fallqvist, Trevor X, and Mangalor5for their reviews! 


	4. Chapter 3: Home of the past Part 1

**-- Chapter 3: Home of the Past - Part 1 --**

* * *

Deralia... Revan's home, Bastila's one link to Revan, these days came in any form, shape, and size. And Deralia was her biggest clue yet and Bastila was going to hold onto the planet, even if she had to squeeze it dry to find him. 

Carlos had not heard from his Master in several days now and he was worrying as they neared Deralia, closer with every passing minute. What was he going to say? What would he do, or would the entire plan be ruined?

"We're coming in for landing, everyone strap in!" Carth's voice issued over the comlink and Carlos jumped out of his bunk and made his way quickly to the cockpit and slid into the co-pilot's seat besides Carth.

Carth glanced at the tired youth and smiled in sympathy, "Did Bastila catch you off-guard back there?"

Carlos shook his head, "I never thought that she could be so terrifying like that…"

Carth smiled grimly, "that's nothing, Carlos… that was nothing to go by other times when I've seen Bastila madder than that."

Carlos felt his jaw drop; "it can get worse than that!"

* * *

The Ebon Hawk landed on Deralia with little difficulty as Bastila and Mission were woken up by Jolee and Juhani carefully. Fortunately though both of the women were seemingly calmed down, though, Bastila had merely realized that she needed to be cool and calm to proceed with her plans. 

When Bastila stepped out of the Ebon Hawk and stood at the bottom of the ramp, her eyes fixed on one woman in particular, standing in the crowd, with a younger woman besides her. Carth gasped besides her and Bastila knew who this girl was without asking, or looking harder.

This young woman and the older woman were Revan's family… the people she had come to see and find, in order to help her find Revan. Bastila allowed a cold smile rest on her face and ignored Carth when he shuddered at her look.

She was going to get Revan back and nothing would stop her from this. Nothing would stop her.

"You're Revan's mother, aren't you?"

Bastila approached the tall woman who nodded and replied in Mandalorian, _"and you are?"_

_"I'm Bastila, your son's wife… He's left and I'm going back out to find him, but first I need your help."_

_"I'll help her, Mother."_ The younger woman stepped up to face Bastila firmly, _"I'm the only one who can unlock his chambers here on Deralia; he made sure of that."_

Bastila turned back to Carth, "you'd better go and gget some supplies, because wwe're leaving soon."

* * *

Kay Tridian led Bastila up the long flight of stone stairs, as they circled and circled around the mountain where Revan had built his home. 

"Why did Revan stay away from everyone else?" Bastila asked curiously as Kay stopped and tapped in a code into the wall.

"It's safe up here and 'sides, Revi didn't want us to get _hurt _because he was different than the rest of us."

Kay looked at Bastila as the door opened and for an instant, Bastila could see the pain and love in her eyes before the woman entered the dark room.

Bastila stood out there for a moment longer, staring down at the settlement below her. She wondered what Revan had seen from up here, when he had lived here.

She sighed and entered the dark room and followed to where Kay was standing.

"Bastila, I think this is what you're looking for…" Kay called out softly as she turned to her sister-in-law.

Bastila put down the text she had just picked up to read and hurried over to Kay's side.

"What is it, Kay?" Bastila asked as Kay pointed to the section of the wall where she was looking, no make that the room. Bastila took one look at what Kay was pointing at and fainted.

* * *

Many thanks to the six of you – I know this story isn't being updated as often as it could be, but I'm working hard and hopefully will have several chapters up soon. 

Darth Nevar  
Konya  
Mega-Obskira  
Mangalor5  
Trevor X

Bjrn Fallqvist


	5. Chapter 4: Home of the past Part 2

**-- Chapter 4: Home of the past - Part 2 --**

* * *

Bastila sat up as she was pulled into a standing position by Kay. "Come on, it's only plans that would ensure the galaxy's survival – nothing else. This is what you're looking for." Kay pointed to a chart besides her and marked one place in particular. 

"This is why Revan didn't let anyone come with him, anyone special, right?" Bastila asked as she read through some of the texts, he had left on the table.

They described the ages of the Sith and Jedi from the past quite clearly and to think that some, even the smallest of these horrors still lived today was enough to scare anyone.

"I don't know, Bastila, I don't know." Kay looked at the young woman, "what are you going to do now?"

Bastila smiled grimly as she waved a datapad under Kay's nose, "these are the diagrams to the Republic's fleet, I'm going after him and nothing, _nothing, _going to stop me now!"

Bastila's eyes flashed red as she left the room, tendrils of dark energy residing around her. Everything depended on her choice now.

Even Malak hadn't been able to break her like this, and now she embraced the dark side, more fully than when Malak had tortured her. She relished in it and accepted the path.

* * *

Revan jerked awake, and stared around his quarters before he realized what had woke him up. A surge of the Force, from Bastila, a surge of darkness... 

He stood up and crossed the bridge and looked out at the sky. He looked up at the stars for a long time and wept, tears running down his face.

"Bastila… what have I done?" He whispered brokenly, "what have you done? The power… you're losing control… What are you going to do?"

The tears ran down his face still as Revan reached out into the Force, into his memories and focused on one in paticuliar.

His father…

"I'm coming home, Dad, I'm coming back. Just hold out for me." Revan whispered, and wiped the tears away as he stared at the cold stars.

There was going to be trouble and this time, he wouldn't be able to stop it.

He smiled dangerously, his pain now pushed to the side; family reunions could always be aggressive. Revan expected nothing less.

* * *

Finally posted this chapter up! Sorry for the long wait to all you readers. 


	6. Chapter 5: Awkward Questions

**-- Chapter 5: Awkward Questions --**

* * *

Carlos sat in the co-pilot's seat watching as Mission ran the ship diagnosis. With Carth and Bastila on the planet, searching for whatever the woman was looking for while Carlos was left too _baby-sit, _Mission and the ship. 

"So, uh… how'd you get left behind, Mission?" Carlos asked in the uncomfortable silence as he watched the young girl besides him. He was a couple of years older than her, but damn she was hot!

"What's that suppose to mean?" Mission asked, glaring at Carlos who shrugged.

"Why didn't you go with the Lady Bastila and Admiral Onasi, I mean?" Carlos replied quickly, hoping that she wasn't going to explode at him.

"Oh, you mean right now?" Mission asked as she turned back to the controls and shut them down with deft fingers. "Really, Carlos, I mean look at Bastila right now. It's best that she had some space to deal with Revan being gone, you know?"

Carlos nodded and fingered his blaster, "but Admiral Onasi went with the Lady Bastila, and he's an Admiral of the Republic."

Carlos didn't know what happened next, but he suddenly found himself lying on the floor, with a bleeding nose and incredibly sore eye.

"Carth went with Bastila because he cares for her well being; I stayed behind in case there was any trouble from traitors or assassins. And I'm just as important as the others and more hardened than most people will ever become so don't imply or tell me who's important or not!"

Mission finished her tirade and watched the dazed Carlos struggle onto his feet.

She hadn't hit him that hard, well okay she had used what Revan had taught her and a bit of what she had learned from Canderous and the others as well, but seriously she had pulled back her punch.

"Come on, let's get you to the med bay and patch you up. You won't be able to play bodyguard if you can't see or walk properly." Mission put her arm around his waist and led Carlos to the med bay, not noticing Dustil as he stood in the shadows talking to Zaalbar.

* * *

"Who's that?" 

Dustil asked the tall wookiee who turned to glance at who Dustil was pointing to and saw that it was the new bodyguard Carlos, Carth had brought aboard.

_"That's Carlos McCrow, a bodyguard for Bastila and Mission, didn't Mission tell you about him?"_ Zaalbar growled at Dustil who shook his head and pressed his lips together in a tight line; "No she was suppose to call me a couple of days ago, she must have been busy…"

Dustil sighed and looked at his chrono, "I'd go talk to her but I'm late and she's busy. I'll see you later then Zaalbar?" The young man turned to walk out the ship but just before he had reached the bottom of the ramp, he was stopped short by a loud growl.

_"Are you going to leave a message for them?"_ Zaalbar growled and Dustil waved back, "just tell my father that I was here and I said hi. I've got to go now, bye!" Dustil speed off leaving, the tall wookiee standing at the top of the ramp; shaking his head at the departing youth.

Mission, Zaalbar mused, was not going to be happy with Dustil when she found out about this.

* * *

"Bastila, what exactly are we looking for?" 

Carth reached down and offered his hand to Bastila who took it and used it to pull herself up and then stood besides Carth on the small rock ledge. She pointed to a spot in the cliffs higher up that was different shaped than usual, at least Bastila could see it unlike Carth.

"Up there… we need to go up there so I can find something." Bastila looked at Carth with a fixed look, "Revan always left something of himself behind everywhere he went, this is his home planet; I'm going to find him, even if I have to destroy the galaxy and the Jedi Council to do it."

Carth shuddered at her tone and watched as she started to climb up the cliff again. "I promised to protect her as best as I could, Revan, but to what extent can I let her be like this?" He whispered to a long gone friend.

There was no answer as the Admiral followed the Jedi up the cliff wall, climbing quickly and quietly.

No answer but the wind, screaming and howling as it blew around them.

* * *

Carlos leaned back as Mission cleaned his face, holding a towel up to his nose. Jolee and Juhani where out searching for more food supplies so Mission had offered to help him clean up and Carlos had no intention of refusing her help. 

"He kept watching her until she noticed and glanced at him, 'what's wrong with you? I didn't hit you that _hard, _now snap out of it."

"Did anyone ever tell you, you're really beautiful, Mission?" Carlos asked instead of answering and looked softly at her as she blushed.

"Stop that, Carlos! Or I won't help you…" Mission began but Carlos cut her off.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" he asked softly and she looked at the floor for a long while before a small _yes _was voiced.

Carlos shook his head in disappointment; "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked, I'll leave now." He stood up and made to leave when Mission touched his arm lightly.

"No, you don't have to go." Mission sighed and stood up and started to put the supplies away, "Dustil and I aren't really seeing each other right now, he's been avoiding me for sometime and we're drifting apart everyday."

"Oh." It was all that Carlos could think of to say as Mission's shoulder's shook with buried emotion. He reached out and pulled her into an embrace, hugging her tight; as she let him even returning the movement herself.

Somehow, Mission found herself kissing Carlos suddenly with no reason for and she didn't stop it. Nor did he pull back when she kissed him, instead leaning in for a deeper and longer kiss. Mission had thought Carlos was cute when he had stayed on the ship for a while and she had gotten to know him better.

And with Dustil being elsewhere these days and barely talking to her now, she had felt shunned and betrayed, loosing all interest in Carth's wayward Jedi son. They found their way back to the quarters unoccupied somehow while kissing and fell onto one of the bunks unaware of their surroundings.

It was a long night for them...

* * *

The next morning Carth looked up as Zaalbar walked into the cockpit, "have you seen Mission and Carlos lately?" 

Zaalbar shook his head, and Carth could have sworn that Zalbar was grinning for the briefest time and then he changed his mind; the tall wookiee did not look like he was in _any _mood to laugh.

"Is there something wrong, Zaalbar? Other than Bastila's current..." Carth mouthed the words _mood swings, _"there didn't seem to be anything wrong before I left.

_"Dustil dropped by early but you and Bastila were out on your little trip... and Mission was busy." _Zaalbar's eyes drilled into Carth, _"She was busy with Carlos." _

Carth sat back and frowned, Dustil and Mission had been seeing each other for some time after Revan hooked the two teenagers up together with the ending of the Star Forge business settled down finally. It was a good idea and obvious to see that the two youngesters were smitten about each other, but lately Dustil and Mission had been breaking apart, no longer really seeing each other.

Dustil claimed he was too busy and Mission said that he was nelgecting her, hardly visiting her or talking to her anymore. Carth had kept silent, hoping that it was just something that was going to pass but Misson had ditched his son and she had been right, in the fact that Dustil _was _neglecting her.

"So, now she's interested in Carlos?" Carth mused out loud and made his way to the Communications' room and looked up the log for the past day's recordings.

* * *

_"Who's that?" _

_Dustil asked the tall wookiee who turned to glance at who Dustil was pointing to and saw that it was the new bodyguard Carlos, Carth had brought aboard._

_"That's Carlos McCrow, a bodyguard for Bastila and Mission, didn't Mission tell you about him?" Zaalbar growled at Dustil who shook his head and pressed his lips together in a tight line; "No, she was suppose to call me a couple of days ago, she must have been busy…"_

_Dustil sighed and looked at his chrono, "I'd go talk to her but I'm late and she's busy. I'll see you later then Zaalbar?"_

_The young man turned to walk out the ship but just before he had reached the bottom of the ramp, he was stopped short by a loud growl._

_"Are you going to leave a message for them?" Zaalbar growled and Dustil waved back, "just tell my father that I was here and I said hi. I've got to go now, bye!" Dustil speed off leaving, the tall wookiee standing at the top of the ramp; shaking his head at the departing youth._

* * *

"Dustil, you idot! Of coursre you're going to loose her that way!" Carth slammed his fist down on the table, as he groaned, "thickheaded stubborn--" 

You're talking about your son, I assume?"

Carth whirled around and faced the intruder, Revan's sister, Kay...

"How... how did you get on the ship?" Carth demanded, his hand reaching for the blaster rifle buckled on his belt and leg.

Kay smiled at Carth, "Revan's my brother, Carth, that's how I got on."

* * *


	7. Chapter 6: Anger and Confusion

**-- Chapter 6: Anger and Confusion --**

* * *

"So you went back with Bastila after she'd been there once already." Kay's eyes drilled in Carth as he shifted uncomfortably. 

"Yes, she wanted to grab something from the room." Carth shrugged as Kay's eyes widened, "how bad could that be?"

"How _bad _could that be!" Kay repeated, her eyes growing wider by the minute. "Carth, Revan… Revan stored tons and tons of data in that room of his! I can't stress enough, how one single datapad could be, if stolen from the room!"

"I got a brief glimpse of it, and it only showed pictures of Revan as a kid and some other things, achievements in his life, by the looks of it." Carth pulled the furious Kay into his arm and brushed her hair back. "Its fine, she even let me look at it as well."

"Well, if you're sure of her character and your judgement…" Kay stopped and nodded, "I guess I'll listen to you on the matter."

Carth smiled, "good, one of the rules on the ship; trust the crew."

Kay's grin turned sly as she twisted in Carth's arms, leaning suggestively into his embrace; "you know… there's one rule that might need clearing up."

Carth was suddenly very aware that he was holding his best friend's sister very tightly against his body and blushed. "I think I'll go and clean the cargo room. With Canderous gone and HK no longer here, it's not in the same condition as I'd like it to be."

He rushed from the room as his face turned beet red. Kay smiled contently to herself and walked into the communications room, sliding into the chair in front of the communications camera.

He was going to be hers if she had to drug and tie him up, just to get Carth to stay with her. Kay sighed as she started hacking into the computer system. There was going to be a lot of junk to clean out before she could install her hardware.

* * *

"Look Dustil, it's not my fault. And you stick away from me with your powers, try anything and I'll have Zaalbar deal with you." Mission was talking to Dustil in the entrance of the ship, anger radiating off her in waves. 

"My fault!" Dustil cried out, his face twisted in rage; "I'm not the one who didn't call _her _boyfriend or _forget _too!"

"You were supposed to call me so many times, Dustil!" Mission screamed, tears running down her face. "All I got was a recording, Dustil a recording!

Mission mimicked his voice and spoke back the very words on his recording machine: _"Hi, you've reached Dustil Onasi, sorry but I'm off on Jedi Business and currently unavailable. Leave a message and I'll try to get back to you as soon as possible."_

"Hey, what's going on here?" Carlos appeared out of the med bay and crossed over to Mission's side, hugging her shaking shoulders.

"Who's this?" Carlos demanded from Mission, "and is he responsible for upsetting you? Because I'll beat him to a pulp if he is!" Carlos glared at Dustil who returned the hostile glare with equal intensity.

"_What's going on here?" _A loud rumbling growl and the sounds of feet running in the general direction of the entry ramp caused all the youths to turn around. Carlos acted on instinct, pulling Mission behind him and up against the wall a blaster appearing in his hand.

Dustil unclipped and activated his lightsaber in an instant, its violet blade flashing to life as he crouched in a classic battle stance, ready and alert.

"Oh, Dad… It's you." Dustil grinned briefly and nodded his head in greeting. "Nothing's wrong, Blaster brains and I are just having a misunderstanding on who Mission's boyfriend."

"Dustil you're not my boyfriend anymore. I dumped you ages ago, maybe if you checked your recorder once and awhile; you'd have gotten that message a year ago!" Mission grabbed Carlos hand and stalked towards the port quarters.

Dustil clenched his jaw as he clipped his lightsaber back to his belt and started forward when he felt and heard the snap-hiss of two lightsabers behind him.

"Let her go, kid. She's not yours to love anymore."

"Anger will only lead you to the dark-side, Dustil; you've gone there before. Do not let it consume you again, willingly like last time."

Jolee and Juhani stood behind him with lightsabers barred; ready for trouble should he make any in his anger.

"How could she dump me like that!" Dustil seethed and glared at his father, "you're in this with her, aren't you, _Father_?" Dustil sneered and turned on his foot, meeting the two lightsaber wielding Jedi in front of him.

"Out of my way!" Dustil snarled and pushed past the Jedi, with a powerful force wave, amplified by his hurt and anger of betrayal from Mission.

He turned at the foot of the ramp and looked at his father square in the eye, Carlos who had remerged standing besides Carth with a set look.

"I disown you _Father; _I do not know who you are anymore! To stand by her and abandon your _only son again… _I'll never forgive you! Never, do you hear me?"

Carlos growled and reacted, by shooting a blaster bolt at Dustil, hitting the enraged man's arm with precision.

"Go before _**I kill you**_." Carlos said with dead calamity and left the entry ramp as it closed in Dustil Onasi's face.

Carth watched his son trudge off, but the man who walked away was his son no longer. Carth knew that their relationship had been fragile, but now there would be no chance to rebuild it.

And this time Carth was going to let it stay that way. Dustil wouldn't let him save Dustil again.

* * *

"He's gone, Mission and he would be bothering us again." Carlos sat down on the bunk and slung his arm around her shaking shoulders. 

She took one look at him and buried her face into his chest as she cried. Carlos sighed as he rocked the girl back and forth, muttering soothing words to comfort her.

* * *

"_What am I going to do now, Uncle? I swore to protect her, but what will happen if I fall in love and possibly marriage? How long can I continue to do this? What am I supposed to do, now…Uncle?" _Carlos thought as the ship soared away from the planet into space.

* * *

"Your son is gone, then?" 

Carth turned at the voice and glared; "there's no need for you to rub it in, why don't you just leave anyways?"

Kay spoke gently, "because I'm looking for my brother and something else that I've just discovered recently."

"And what's this _thing _you've just discovered recently?" Carth asked as she crossed over to his side and sat down on the bed.

She shrugged and picked up his hand, holding it in hers. "I don't know Carth. I'm waiting to fine that out, I think."

He glanced at her crystal carven face when she said nothing more. He watched for a minute, remembering when Revan had had that same look on his face in the past.

Revan and his sister Kay where so alike, Carth didn't know whether he should be scared or not but he just nodded silently as they just sat there, holding each others hand in silence.

* * *

A red eyed Bastila sat at the helm of the ship, flying towards the Republic Fleet on Courscant. 

She had plans to do and woe to whoever dared get in her way.

* * *

Please **Read **and **Review! **_Thanks in advance if you do..._


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